Signs

On an Electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts."

In a Non-Smoking Area: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."

On a Maternity Room door: "Push. Push. Push."

At an Optometrist's Office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."

On a Taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff."

Sign over a Gynaecologist's Office Door: "Dr. Jones, at your cervix."

In a Podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels."

On a Fence: "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!"

Outside a Car Exhaust Store: "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."

In a Vet’s waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

In the front yard of a Funeral Home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait."

And don't forget the sign at a RADIATOR SHOP: "Best place in town to take a leak."