Wednesday, February 27, 2019
Having Cicak nuisance?
We used to have big problems with cicak shits all over the place until we discover a simple remedy. Simply put these along the walls and it will rid you of these nuisance in no time....
Auntie Fatso
When in Malacca, one must visit restaurant is the famous Auntie Fatso restaurant. I simply love their prawn bihoon among many yummy delicacies....
A campaign promise
A politician went to a village for campaign, he then ask the villagers to mention two of their main problems in the village.
The villages informed him that one of their problem is lack of qualified medical doctors.
The politician quickly brought out his cell phone and pretended to be making call. He later told them "your problem is solved, we will provide medical services soon’.
What is the next problem? "
The villager replied, ‘ There is no telephone signal, no wifi, no network in this village!!’
😛😜
The villages informed him that one of their problem is lack of qualified medical doctors.
The politician quickly brought out his cell phone and pretended to be making call. He later told them "your problem is solved, we will provide medical services soon’.
What is the next problem? "
The villager replied, ‘ There is no telephone signal, no wifi, no network in this village!!’
😛😜
Tuesday, February 26, 2019
A kind of argument
🗣 *Joke of the day*
. 😂🌚😂🌝
Fight between husband and wife (both with MA in English literature). Instead of resorting to shouting, abusing or physical force... they write poems to each other. .....
*WIFE*
I wrote your name on sand it got washed..
I wrote your name in air, it was blown away.
Then I wrote your name on my heart & I got Heart Attack.
*HUSBAND*
God saw me hungry, he created pizza.
He saw me thirsty, he created Pepsi.
He saw me in the dark, he created light.
He saw me without problems, he created YOU.
*WIFE*
Twinkle twinkle little star
You should know what you are
And once you know what you are
Mental hospital is not so far
*HUSBAND*
The rain makes all things beautiful.
The grass and flowers too.
If rain makes all things beautiful
Why doesn't it rain on you?
*WIFE*
Roses are red; Violets are blue
Monkeys like u should be kept in zoo.
*Husband*
Don't feel so angry you will find me there too
Not in cage but laughing at you!!
😂🌚🤣
. 😂🌚😂🌝
Fight between husband and wife (both with MA in English literature). Instead of resorting to shouting, abusing or physical force... they write poems to each other. .....
*WIFE*
I wrote your name on sand it got washed..
I wrote your name in air, it was blown away.
Then I wrote your name on my heart & I got Heart Attack.
*HUSBAND*
God saw me hungry, he created pizza.
He saw me thirsty, he created Pepsi.
He saw me in the dark, he created light.
He saw me without problems, he created YOU.
*WIFE*
Twinkle twinkle little star
You should know what you are
And once you know what you are
Mental hospital is not so far
*HUSBAND*
The rain makes all things beautiful.
The grass and flowers too.
If rain makes all things beautiful
Why doesn't it rain on you?
*WIFE*
Roses are red; Violets are blue
Monkeys like u should be kept in zoo.
*Husband*
Don't feel so angry you will find me there too
Not in cage but laughing at you!!
😂🌚🤣
Monday, February 25, 2019
An encounter with Lemang
Lemang - one of my favourite local food. Best eaten with wild boar and kasam ikan (fermented fish).
During a long haul flight
One day during a long flight A lawyer and a Chinese are sitting next to each other on a long flight. The lawyer is thinking that all Chinese are dumb that he could get over on them, easy.
So the lawyer asks if the Chinese would like to play a fun game. The Chinese is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines, and tries to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists, and says that the game is a lot of fun. I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me only $5; you ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500, he says..
This catches the Chinese's attention and to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game. the lawyer asks the first question. 'What's the distance from The Earth to the Moon?' The Chinese doesn't say a word, reaches in his pocket, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it
to the lawyer.
Now, it's the Chinese's turn. He asks the lawyer, 'What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?' The lawyer uses his laptop and searches all references he could find on the Net. He sends e-mails to all the smart friends he knows, all to no avail. After one hour of searching he finally gives up. He wakes up the Chinese and hands him $500. The Chinese pockets the $500 and goes right back to sleep. The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He wakes the Chinese up and asks, 'Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?"
The Chinese reaches in his pocket, hands the lawyer $5 and goes back to sleep.
Happy reading! and have a great laugh
Sunday, February 24, 2019
The BBQ Grill
A man and his wife were working in their garden one day and the man looks over at his wife and says: "Your butt is getting really big.......I mean really big. I bet your butt is bigger than the Barbecue grill."
With that he proceeded to get a measuring tape and measure the grill and then went over to where his wife was working and measured his wife's bottom."Yes, I was right......... your butt is two inches wider than our barbecue grill!"
The woman chose to ignore her husband. Later that night in bed, the husband is feeling a little frisky. He makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off.
"What's wrong?" he asks.
She answers: "Do you really think I'm going to fire up this big grill for one lousy little sausage?"
Why golf is better than sex
#10 A below par performance is considered damn good.
#9 You can stop in the middle and have a cheeseburger and a couple of beers.
#8 It's much easier to find the sweet spot.
#8 It's much easier to find the sweet spot.
#7 Foursomes are encouraged.
#6 You can still make money doing it as a senior.
#5 Three times a day is possible..
#4 Your partner doesn't hire a lawyer if you play with someone else.
#3 If you live in Florida, you can do it almost every day.
#2 You don't have to cuddle with your partner when you're finished.
And his NUMBER ONE reason why golf is better than sex.....
#1 When your equipment gets old you can replace it!
Miri night skyline
The best vantage point to view the Miri skyline is from the Bistro on Canada Hill.
Saturday, February 23, 2019
The In-Laws
A Mother -in -Law decides to test her three son- in- laws for their good nature.
For this she goes for a walk by a river with the first son in law & jumps in. He saves her. Next morning he finds a Toyota corolla parked outside his house with note:
From your Mother In Law.
Next she goes for a walk by the river with the second son in law & jumps in. He too saves her. Next morning he also finds a Toyota Corolla parked outside his house with note :
From your Mother In Law.
Next she goes for a walk by a river with the third son in law & jumps in. He just laughs and walks away. Next morning he finds a BMW M5 parked outside his house with note:
From your Father In Law!
😂😂😂😜😜😃.....
For this she goes for a walk by a river with the first son in law & jumps in. He saves her. Next morning he finds a Toyota corolla parked outside his house with note:
From your Mother In Law.
Next she goes for a walk by the river with the second son in law & jumps in. He too saves her. Next morning he also finds a Toyota Corolla parked outside his house with note :
From your Mother In Law.
Next she goes for a walk by a river with the third son in law & jumps in. He just laughs and walks away. Next morning he finds a BMW M5 parked outside his house with note:
From your Father In Law!
😂😂😂😜😜😃.....
A chance reunion
Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, "surely I can't look that old.". Well . . . you'll love this one, from a lady called Mary.
"My name is Mary. I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist.
I noticed his BDS degree on the wall, which bore his full name.
Suddenly, I remembered a tall , handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 30-odd years ago.
Could he be the same guy that I had a secret crush on, way back then?
Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate.
After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended St Thomas’s high school.
"Yes. yes, I did.' he beamed with pride.
"When did you graduate?" I asked.
He answered, "In 1987. Why do you ask?"
"You were in my class!!!!", I exclaimed.
He looked at me closely.
Then,
that
ugly,
old,
bald,
wrinkled faced,
gray-haired,
decrepit,
idiot,
asked,
"What subject did you teach?"
Keep smiling man, Friday is coming.....
"My name is Mary. I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist.
I noticed his BDS degree on the wall, which bore his full name.
Suddenly, I remembered a tall , handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 30-odd years ago.
Could he be the same guy that I had a secret crush on, way back then?
Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate.
After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended St Thomas’s high school.
"Yes. yes, I did.' he beamed with pride.
"When did you graduate?" I asked.
He answered, "In 1987. Why do you ask?"
"You were in my class!!!!", I exclaimed.
He looked at me closely.
Then,
that
ugly,
old,
bald,
wrinkled faced,
gray-haired,
decrepit,
idiot,
asked,
"What subject did you teach?"
Keep smiling man, Friday is coming.....
Children’s view of the world
Kids really do say the weirdest things!!!!
Read on and you'll discover the joy in it! These have to be original and genuine. No adult is this creative!!
JACK (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister. After a while he asked: 'Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?'
MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she was so old she didn't remember any more.. Melanie said, 'If you don't remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six.'
BRITTANY (age 4) had an ear ache and wanted a pain killer. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained it was a child-proof cap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: 'How does it know it's me?'
CLINTON (age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried When his Mom asked what was troubling him, he replied, 'I don't know what'll happen with this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in it?'
MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: 'Why is he whispering in her mouth?'
Make sure you pass this one on and spread the smiles....😘
Read on and you'll discover the joy in it! These have to be original and genuine. No adult is this creative!!
JACK (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister. After a while he asked: 'Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?'
MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she was so old she didn't remember any more.. Melanie said, 'If you don't remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six.'
BRITTANY (age 4) had an ear ache and wanted a pain killer. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained it was a child-proof cap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: 'How does it know it's me?'
CLINTON (age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried When his Mom asked what was troubling him, he replied, 'I don't know what'll happen with this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in it?'
MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: 'Why is he whispering in her mouth?'
Make sure you pass this one on and spread the smiles....😘
The Bubuk season is here
Bubuk season is here in Miri. Once a year in the months of Feb-Mar, the sealine in Miri, especially at Lutong Batu Satu, will be crowded with people catching/selling this very popular creature.
Bubuk is enjoyed as Belacan, Cincaluk or as just plain dried shrimps.
Bubuk is enjoyed as Belacan, Cincaluk or as just plain dried shrimps.
A Carrot, An Egg and a Cup of Coffee
A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.
Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word.
In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what you see."
"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.
Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft.
The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed
the hard-boiled egg.
Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled, and as she tasted its rich aroma the daughter asked, "What does it mean, Mother?"
Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its insides became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.
"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?"
Think about this: Which are you?
Are you the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?
Are you the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did you have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have you become hardened and stiff? Does your shell look the same, but on the inside are you bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?
Or are you like the coffee bean ? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?
May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy. The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.
When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.
Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word.
In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what you see."
"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.
Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft.
The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed
the hard-boiled egg.
Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled, and as she tasted its rich aroma the daughter asked, "What does it mean, Mother?"
Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its insides became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.
"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?"
Think about this: Which are you?
Are you the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?
Are you the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did you have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have you become hardened and stiff? Does your shell look the same, but on the inside are you bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?
Or are you like the coffee bean ? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?
May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy. The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.
When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.
A winter golf outing
It was quite an experience golfing in Beijing in winter. The soil is so hard that you literally have to hammer thr Tee into the ground and when your ball landed in the pond, it just rolled over to the other side as they were all frozen!
Thursday, February 21, 2019
A Chance Meeting
Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, "surely I can't look that old.". Well . . . you'll love this one, from a lady called Archana
"My name is Archana. I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist.
I noticed his BDS degree on the wall, which bore his full name.
Suddenly, I remembered a tall , handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 30-odd years ago.
Could he be the same guy that I had a secret crush on, way back then?
Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate.
After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended St Xavier's high school.
"Yes. yes, I did.' he beamed with pride.
"When did you graduate?" I asked.
He answered, "In 1987. Why do you ask?"
"You were in my class!!!!", I exclaimed.
He looked at me closely.
Then,
that
ugly,
old,
bald,
wrinkled faced,
gray-haired,
decrepit,
idiot,
asked,
"What subject did you teach?"
"My name is Archana. I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist.
I noticed his BDS degree on the wall, which bore his full name.
Suddenly, I remembered a tall , handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 30-odd years ago.
Could he be the same guy that I had a secret crush on, way back then?
Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate.
After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended St Xavier's high school.
"Yes. yes, I did.' he beamed with pride.
"When did you graduate?" I asked.
He answered, "In 1987. Why do you ask?"
"You were in my class!!!!", I exclaimed.
He looked at me closely.
Then,
that
ugly,
old,
bald,
wrinkled faced,
gray-haired,
decrepit,
idiot,
asked,
"What subject did you teach?"
Wednesday, February 20, 2019
The day I became a Grandpa
In life, one has to pass through many phases - from featus to baby to boy to man. Then one become two and then three and now you are a father.
With the birth of Abigail Joy Rimos on the 17th january 2017, I became a grandfather.
With the birth of Abigail Joy Rimos on the 17th january 2017, I became a grandfather.
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