Short Takes

1
I asked my new girlfriend what sort of books she's interested in:
She said: Cheque books.

2
The easiest way to make your old car run better, is to check the prices of new car.

3
Q: What is the difference between men and pigs?
A: Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.

4
Q: What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?
A: A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.

5
Nurse: A beautiful woman who holds your hand for one full minute and then expects your pulse to be normal.

6
Boss: We are very keen on cleanliness. Did you wipe your feet on the mat as you came in?
New employee: Yes, sir.
Boss: We are also keen on truthfulness. There is no mat.

7
Q: Why dogs don't marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!

8
Q: What's the difference between mother & wife?
A: One woman brings you into the world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so.

9
Q: Singh enters kitchen, opens sugar container, looks inside and closes it. He does this again and again. Why?
A: Because his Doctor told him to check sugar level regularly.

10
What's the difference between a good secretary and a personal secretary?
One says "Good morning, boss".
The other says "It's morning, boss."