This equation should be taught in all maths classes. From a strictly mathematical viewpoint, it goes like this.
What makes 100%?
What does it means to give more than 100%?
Ever wonder about your colleagues who says they are giving more than 100%?
Here’s a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions.
If
A-B-C-D-E-F-G-H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O-P-Q-R-S-T-U-V-W-X-Y-Z
Is represented as;
1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10-11-12-13-14-15-16-17-18-19-20-21-22-23-24-25-26
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K=8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11=98%
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E=11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E = 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T = 2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
A-S-S K-I-S-S-I-N-G = 1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 127%
So, we can conclude with mathematical certainty that while HARDWORK and KNOWLEDGE will get you close, and ATTITUDE will get you there, it’s BULLSHIT and ASS KISSING that put you over the top!!
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Confucius says...........
This Confucius guy is smart……..
Confucius says : War not determine who right, war determine who left.
Confucius says : If you want pretty nurse, you got to be patient.
Confucius says : To meet girl in park is good. But to park meat in girl is better.
Confucius says : Man with tool in woman’s mouth, not necessarily denist
Confucius says : Man who run through airport turnstiles backward going to Bangkok
Confucius says : Better to be pissed off than to be pissed on.
Confucius says : Woman who go to man’s apartment for snack, get titbit
Confucius says : Man who keep feet on ground have trouble putting on pants.
Confucius says : Woman who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
Confucius says : Man who leap off cliff jump to conclusion
Confucius says : Woman who go camping must beware of evil intent
Confucius says : Girl who sit on Judge’s lap get honourable discharge
Confucius says : Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day long
Confucius says : It take many nail to build crib, one screw to fill it
Thanks Alice. These sure made me laugh!
Confucius says : War not determine who right, war determine who left.
Confucius says : If you want pretty nurse, you got to be patient.
Confucius says : To meet girl in park is good. But to park meat in girl is better.
Confucius says : Man with tool in woman’s mouth, not necessarily denist
Confucius says : Man who run through airport turnstiles backward going to Bangkok
Confucius says : Better to be pissed off than to be pissed on.
Confucius says : Woman who go to man’s apartment for snack, get titbit
Confucius says : Man who keep feet on ground have trouble putting on pants.
Confucius says : Woman who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
Confucius says : Man who leap off cliff jump to conclusion
Confucius says : Woman who go camping must beware of evil intent
Confucius says : Girl who sit on Judge’s lap get honourable discharge
Confucius says : Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day long
Confucius says : It take many nail to build crib, one screw to fill it
Thanks Alice. These sure made me laugh!
Cancer
PLEASE SPARE 10 MINUTES TO READ THIS. AFTER YEARS OF TELLING PEOPLE CHEMOTHERAPY IS THE ONLY WAY TO TRY (TRY IS THE KEY WORD) AND ELIMINATE CANCER, JOHN HOPKINS IS FINALLY STARTING TO TELL YOU THERE IS AN ALTERNATIVE WAY.
1. Every person has cancer cells in the body. These cancer cells do not show up in the standard tests until they have multiplied to a few billion. When doctors tell cancer patients that there are no more cancer cells in their bodies after treatment, it just means the tests are unable to detect the cancer cells because they have not reached the detectable size.
2. Cancer cells occur between 6 to more than 10 times in a person's lifetime.
3. When the person's immune system is strong the cancer cells will be destroyed and prevented from multiplying and forming tumors.
4. When a person has cancer it indicates the person has multiple nutritional deficiencies. These could be due to genetic, environmental, food and lifestyle factors.
5. To overcome the multiple nutritional deficiencies, changing diet and including supplements will strengthen the immune system.
6. Chemotherapy involves poisoning the rapidly growing cancer cells and also destroys rapidly-growing healthy cells in the bone marrow, gastro-intestinal tract etc, and can cause organ damage, like liver, kidneys, heart, lungs etc.
7. Radiation while destroying cancer cells also burns, scars and damages healthy cells, tissues and organs.
8. Initial treatment with chemotherapy and radiation will often reduce tumor size. However prolonged use of chemotherapy and radiation do not result in more tumor destruction.
9. When the body has too much toxic burden from chemotherapy and radiation the immune system is either compromised or destroyed, hence the person can succumb to various kinds of infections and complications.
10. Chemotherapy and radiation can cause cancer cells to mutate and become resistant and difficult to destroy. Surgery can also cause cancer cells to spread to other sites.
11. An effective way to battle cancer is to starve the cancer cells by not feeding it with the foods it needs to multiply.
CANCER CELLS FEED ON:
a. Sugar, is a cancer-feeder. By cutting off sugar it cuts off one important food supply to the cancer cells. Sugar substitutes like Nutrasweet, Equal, Spoonful, etc are made with Aspartame and it is harmful. A better natural substitute would be Manuka honey or molasses but only in very small amounts. Table salt has a chemical added to make it white in colour. Better alternative is Bragg's aminos or sea salt. ( THE WEST MADE US 2 CHANGE FROM SEA 2 WHITE IODISED SALT )
b. Milk causes the body to produce mucus, especially in the gastro-intestinal tract. Cancer feeds on mucus. By cutting off milk and substituting with unsweetened soya milk cancer cells are being starved.
c. Cancer cells thrive in an acid environment. A meat-based diet is acidic and it is best to eat fish, and a little chicken rather than beef or pork. Meat also contains livestock antibiotics, growth hormones and parasites, which are all harmful, especially to people with cancer.
d. A diet made of 80% fresh vegetables and juice, whole grains, seeds, nuts and a little fruits help put the body into an alkaline environment. About 20% can be from cooked food including beans. Fresh vegetable juices provide live enzymes that are easily absorbed and reach down to cellular levels within 15 minutes to nourish and enhance growth of healthy cells. To obtain live enzymes for building healthy cells try and drink fresh vegetable juice (most vegetables including bean sprouts) and eat some raw vegetables 2 or 3 times a day. Enzymes are destroyed at temperatures of 104 degrees F (40 degrees C).
e. Avoid coffee, tea, and chocolate, which have high caffeine. Green tea is a better alternative and has cancer-fighting properties. Water- best to drink purified water, or filtered, to avoid known toxins and heavy metals in tap water. Distilled water is acidic, avoid it.
12. Meat protein is difficult to digest and requires a lot of digestive enzymes. Undigested meat remaining in the intestines become putrified and leads to more toxic buildup.
13. Cancer cell walls have a tough protein covering. By refraining from or eating less meat it frees more enzymes to attack the protein walls of cancer cells and allows the body's killer cells to destroy the cancer cells.
14. Some supplements build up the immune system (IP6, Florssence, Essiac, anti-oxidants, vitamins,minerals, EFAs etc.) to enable the body's own killer cells to destroy cancer cells. Other supplements like vitamin E are known to cause apoptosis, or programmed cell death, the body's normal method of disposing of damaged, unwanted, or unneeded cells.
15. Cancer is a disease of the mind,body, and spirit. A proactive and positive spirit will help the cancer warrior be a survivor. Anger, un forgiveness and bitterness put the body into a stressful and acidic environment. Learn to have a loving and forgiving spirit. Learn to relax and enjoy life.
16. Cancer cells cannot thrive in an oxygenated environment. Exercising daily, and deep breathing help to get more oxygen down to the cellular level. Oxygen therapy is another means employed to destroy cancer cells.
PLEASE READ ON
1. No plastic containers in micro.
2.. No water bottles in freezer.
3. No plastic wrap in microwave.
Johns Hopkinshas recently sent this out in its newsletters. This information is being circulated at WalterReedArmyMedicalCenteras well. Dioxin chemicals causes cancer, especially breast cancer. Dioxins are highly poisonous to the cells of our bodies. Don't freeze your plastic bottles with water in them as this releases dioxins from the plastic.
Recently, Dr. Edward Fujimoto, Wellness Program Manager at CastleHospitalwas on a TV program to explain this health hazard. He talked about dioxins and how bad they are for us. He said that we should not be heating our food in the microwave using plastic containers. This especially applies to foods that contain fat.
He said that the combination of fat, high heat, and plastics releases dioxin into the food and ultimately into the cells of the body. Instead, he recommends using glass, such as CorningWare, Pyrex or ceramic containers for heating food. You get the same results, only without the dioxin.
So such things as TV dinners, instant ramen and soups, etc., should be removed from the container and heated in something else. Paper isn't bad but you don't know what is in the paper. It's just safer to use tempered glass, CorningWare, etc. He reminded us that a while ago some of the fast food restaurants moved away from the foam containers to paper. The dioxin problem is one of the reasons.
Also, he pointed out that plastic wrap, such as Saran, is just as dangerous when placed over foods to be cooked in the microwave. As the food is nuked, the high heat causes poisonous toxins to actually melt out of the plastic wrap and drip into the food. Cover food with a paper towel instead.
This is an article that should be sent to all in your life and that’s why I am putting it in this Blog for the benefit of all of you.
1. Every person has cancer cells in the body. These cancer cells do not show up in the standard tests until they have multiplied to a few billion. When doctors tell cancer patients that there are no more cancer cells in their bodies after treatment, it just means the tests are unable to detect the cancer cells because they have not reached the detectable size.
2. Cancer cells occur between 6 to more than 10 times in a person's lifetime.
3. When the person's immune system is strong the cancer cells will be destroyed and prevented from multiplying and forming tumors.
4. When a person has cancer it indicates the person has multiple nutritional deficiencies. These could be due to genetic, environmental, food and lifestyle factors.
5. To overcome the multiple nutritional deficiencies, changing diet and including supplements will strengthen the immune system.
6. Chemotherapy involves poisoning the rapidly growing cancer cells and also destroys rapidly-growing healthy cells in the bone marrow, gastro-intestinal tract etc, and can cause organ damage, like liver, kidneys, heart, lungs etc.
7. Radiation while destroying cancer cells also burns, scars and damages healthy cells, tissues and organs.
8. Initial treatment with chemotherapy and radiation will often reduce tumor size. However prolonged use of chemotherapy and radiation do not result in more tumor destruction.
9. When the body has too much toxic burden from chemotherapy and radiation the immune system is either compromised or destroyed, hence the person can succumb to various kinds of infections and complications.
10. Chemotherapy and radiation can cause cancer cells to mutate and become resistant and difficult to destroy. Surgery can also cause cancer cells to spread to other sites.
11. An effective way to battle cancer is to starve the cancer cells by not feeding it with the foods it needs to multiply.
CANCER CELLS FEED ON:
a. Sugar, is a cancer-feeder. By cutting off sugar it cuts off one important food supply to the cancer cells. Sugar substitutes like Nutrasweet, Equal, Spoonful, etc are made with Aspartame and it is harmful. A better natural substitute would be Manuka honey or molasses but only in very small amounts. Table salt has a chemical added to make it white in colour. Better alternative is Bragg's aminos or sea salt. ( THE WEST MADE US 2 CHANGE FROM SEA 2 WHITE IODISED SALT )
b. Milk causes the body to produce mucus, especially in the gastro-intestinal tract. Cancer feeds on mucus. By cutting off milk and substituting with unsweetened soya milk cancer cells are being starved.
c. Cancer cells thrive in an acid environment. A meat-based diet is acidic and it is best to eat fish, and a little chicken rather than beef or pork. Meat also contains livestock antibiotics, growth hormones and parasites, which are all harmful, especially to people with cancer.
d. A diet made of 80% fresh vegetables and juice, whole grains, seeds, nuts and a little fruits help put the body into an alkaline environment. About 20% can be from cooked food including beans. Fresh vegetable juices provide live enzymes that are easily absorbed and reach down to cellular levels within 15 minutes to nourish and enhance growth of healthy cells. To obtain live enzymes for building healthy cells try and drink fresh vegetable juice (most vegetables including bean sprouts) and eat some raw vegetables 2 or 3 times a day. Enzymes are destroyed at temperatures of 104 degrees F (40 degrees C).
e. Avoid coffee, tea, and chocolate, which have high caffeine. Green tea is a better alternative and has cancer-fighting properties. Water- best to drink purified water, or filtered, to avoid known toxins and heavy metals in tap water. Distilled water is acidic, avoid it.
12. Meat protein is difficult to digest and requires a lot of digestive enzymes. Undigested meat remaining in the intestines become putrified and leads to more toxic buildup.
13. Cancer cell walls have a tough protein covering. By refraining from or eating less meat it frees more enzymes to attack the protein walls of cancer cells and allows the body's killer cells to destroy the cancer cells.
14. Some supplements build up the immune system (IP6, Florssence, Essiac, anti-oxidants, vitamins,minerals, EFAs etc.) to enable the body's own killer cells to destroy cancer cells. Other supplements like vitamin E are known to cause apoptosis, or programmed cell death, the body's normal method of disposing of damaged, unwanted, or unneeded cells.
15. Cancer is a disease of the mind,body, and spirit. A proactive and positive spirit will help the cancer warrior be a survivor. Anger, un forgiveness and bitterness put the body into a stressful and acidic environment. Learn to have a loving and forgiving spirit. Learn to relax and enjoy life.
16. Cancer cells cannot thrive in an oxygenated environment. Exercising daily, and deep breathing help to get more oxygen down to the cellular level. Oxygen therapy is another means employed to destroy cancer cells.
PLEASE READ ON
1. No plastic containers in micro.
2.. No water bottles in freezer.
3. No plastic wrap in microwave.
Johns Hopkinshas recently sent this out in its newsletters. This information is being circulated at WalterReedArmyMedicalCenteras well. Dioxin chemicals causes cancer, especially breast cancer. Dioxins are highly poisonous to the cells of our bodies. Don't freeze your plastic bottles with water in them as this releases dioxins from the plastic.
Recently, Dr. Edward Fujimoto, Wellness Program Manager at CastleHospitalwas on a TV program to explain this health hazard. He talked about dioxins and how bad they are for us. He said that we should not be heating our food in the microwave using plastic containers. This especially applies to foods that contain fat.
He said that the combination of fat, high heat, and plastics releases dioxin into the food and ultimately into the cells of the body. Instead, he recommends using glass, such as CorningWare, Pyrex or ceramic containers for heating food. You get the same results, only without the dioxin.
So such things as TV dinners, instant ramen and soups, etc., should be removed from the container and heated in something else. Paper isn't bad but you don't know what is in the paper. It's just safer to use tempered glass, CorningWare, etc. He reminded us that a while ago some of the fast food restaurants moved away from the foam containers to paper. The dioxin problem is one of the reasons.
Also, he pointed out that plastic wrap, such as Saran, is just as dangerous when placed over foods to be cooked in the microwave. As the food is nuked, the high heat causes poisonous toxins to actually melt out of the plastic wrap and drip into the food. Cover food with a paper towel instead.
This is an article that should be sent to all in your life and that’s why I am putting it in this Blog for the benefit of all of you.
Giving up on wine
I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner. I took out my wallet, got out ten dollars and asked, 'If I give you this money, will you buy wine with it instead of dinner?'
'No, I had to stop drinking years ago', the homeless woman told me.
'Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?' I asked.
'No, I don't waste time shopping,' the homeless woman said. 'I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.
''Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?' I asked.
'Are you NUTS!' replied the homeless woman. I haven't had my hair done in 20 years!
''Well, I said, 'I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with my husband and me tonight.'
The homeless Woman was shocked. 'Won't your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting.'
I said, 'That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments, and wine..'
'No, I had to stop drinking years ago', the homeless woman told me.
'Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?' I asked.
'No, I don't waste time shopping,' the homeless woman said. 'I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.
''Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?' I asked.
'Are you NUTS!' replied the homeless woman. I haven't had my hair done in 20 years!
''Well, I said, 'I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with my husband and me tonight.'
The homeless Woman was shocked. 'Won't your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting.'
I said, 'That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments, and wine..'
The Colonoscopy
All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge.
"I should be in charge," said the brain, "Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen."
"I should be in charge," said the blood , "because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd all waste away."
"I should be in charge," said the stomach , "because I process food and give all of you energy."
"I should be in charge," said the legs, "because I carry the body wherever it needs to go."
"I should be in charge," said the eyes, "Because I allow the body to see where it goes."
"I should be in charge," said the rectum,"Because I'm responsible for waste removal."
All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight.
Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery, and the blood was toxic. They all decided that the rectum should be the boss.
The Moral of the story? The ass hole is usually the one in charge!
"I should be in charge," said the brain, "Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen."
"I should be in charge," said the blood , "because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd all waste away."
"I should be in charge," said the stomach , "because I process food and give all of you energy."
"I should be in charge," said the legs, "because I carry the body wherever it needs to go."
"I should be in charge," said the eyes, "Because I allow the body to see where it goes."
"I should be in charge," said the rectum,"Because I'm responsible for waste removal."
All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight.
Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery, and the blood was toxic. They all decided that the rectum should be the boss.
The Moral of the story? The ass hole is usually the one in charge!
Sunday, November 23, 2008
A Christmas Carol
Alice came up with this Christmas carol for 2008 (sung to the tune of Santa Claus is coming to town)
You'd better watch out
You'd better not cry
You'd better keep cash
I'm telling you why:
Recession is coming to town.
It's hitting you once,
It's hitting you twice
It doesn't care if you've been careful and wise
Recession is coming to town
It's worthless if you've got shares
It's worthless if you've got bonds
It's safe when you've got cash in hand
So keep cash for goodness sake, HEY
You'd better watch out
You'd better not cry
You'd better keep cash
I'm telling you why:
Recession is coming to town!
Finance products are confusing
Finance products are so vague
The banks make you bear the cost of risk
So keep out for goodness sake, OH
You'd better watch out
You'd better not cry
You'd better keep cash
I'm telling you why:
Recession is coming to town.
You'd better watch out
You'd better not cry
You'd better keep cash
I'm telling you why:
Recession is coming to town.
It's hitting you once,
It's hitting you twice
It doesn't care if you've been careful and wise
Recession is coming to town
It's worthless if you've got shares
It's worthless if you've got bonds
It's safe when you've got cash in hand
So keep cash for goodness sake, HEY
You'd better watch out
You'd better not cry
You'd better keep cash
I'm telling you why:
Recession is coming to town!
Finance products are confusing
Finance products are so vague
The banks make you bear the cost of risk
So keep out for goodness sake, OH
You'd better watch out
You'd better not cry
You'd better keep cash
I'm telling you why:
Recession is coming to town.
Be very careful with your wishes
This is a blast.........thanks Alphonsus.
Be careful with your wise.....
A married couple in their early 60s was celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant. Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table.
The Fairy said, 'For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.'
The wife answered, 'Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband.'
The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - Two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands.
The husband thought for a moment: 'Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again. I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.'
The wife and the fairy were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish. So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof!!!..the husband became 92 years old.
The moral of this story????
Men who are ungrateful should remember fairies are FEMALE.....
Be careful with your wise.....
A married couple in their early 60s was celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant. Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table.
The Fairy said, 'For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.'
The wife answered, 'Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband.'
The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - Two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands.
The husband thought for a moment: 'Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again. I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.'
The wife and the fairy were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish. So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof!!!..the husband became 92 years old.
The moral of this story????
Men who are ungrateful should remember fairies are FEMALE.....
An interesting dialogue between a Professor and a Student
Am not sure where you get this Richard but it sure is very very interesting!
An Atheist Professor of Philosophy speaks to his Class on the Problem Science has with GOD, The ALMIGHTY. He asks one of his New Christian Students to stand and . . .
Professor :You are a Christian, aren't you, son?
Student :Yes, sir.
Professor :So you Believe in GOD ?
Student :Absolutely, sir.
Professor :Is GOD Good?
Student :Sure.
Professor :Is GOD ALL - POWERFUL ?
Student :Yes.
Professor :My Brother died of Cancer even though he Prayed to GOD to Heal him. Most of us would attempt to Help Others who are ill. But GOD didn't. How is this GOD Good then? Hmm?( Student is silent )
Professor : You can't answer, can you? Let's start again, Young Fella. Is GOD Good?
Student : Yes..
Professor : Is Satan good?
Student :No.
Professor :Where does Satan come from ?
Student :From . . . GOD . . .
Professor :That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this World?
Student :Yes.
Professor : Evil is everywhere, isn't it? And GOD did make Everything.. Correct?
Student :Yes.
Professor :So who created evil ?( Student does not answer )
Professor :Is there Sickness ? Immorality ? Hatred ? Ugliness ? All these terrible things exist in the World, don't they?
Student :Yes, sir.
Professor :So, who Created them ?
( Student has no answer )
Professor : Science says you have 5 Senses you use to Identify and Observe the World around you. Tell me, son . . . Have you ever Seen GOD ?
Student :No, sir.
Professor :Tell us if you have ever Heard your GOD ?
Student :No , sir.
Professor :Have you ever Felt your GOD , Tasted your GOD , Smelt your GOD ? Have you ever had any Sensory Perception of GOD for that matter ?
Student :No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.
Professor :Yet you still Believe in HIM ?
Student : Yes.
Professor :According to Empirical, Testable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says your GOD doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son ?
Student :Nothing. I only have my Faith .
Professor :Yes. Faith . And that is the Problem Science has.
Student :Professor, is there such a thing as Heat?
Professor :Yes.
Student :And is there such a thing as Cold?
Professor :Yes.
Student :No sir. There isn't.
(The Lecture Theatre becomes very quiet with this turn of events )
Student :Sir, you can have Lots of Heat, even More Heat, Superheat, Mega Heat, White Heat, a Little Heat or No Heat. But we don't have anything called Cold. We can hit 458 Degrees below Zero which is No Heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as Cold. Cold is only a Word we use to describe the Absence of Heat. We cannot Measure Cold. Heat is Energy. Cold is Not the Opposite of Heat, sir, just the Absence of it.
( There is Pin - Drop Silence in the Lecture Theatre )
Student : What about Darkness, Professor ? Is there such a thing as Darkness ?Professor :Yes. What is Night if there isn't Darkness ?
Student :You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is the Absence of Something. You can have Low Light, Normal Light , Bright Light, Flashing Light . . . But if you have No Light Constantly, you have Nothing and it's called Darkness, isn't it? In reality, Darkness isn't. If it is, were you would be able to make Darkness Darker, wouldn't you?
Professor :So what is the point you are making, Young Man?
Student :Sir, my point is your Philosophical Premise is Flawed.
Professor :Flawed? Can you explain how?
Student :Sir, you are working on the Premise of Duality. You argue there is Life and then there is Death, a Good GOD and a Bad GOD. You are viewing the Concept of GOD as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, Science can't even explain a Thought. It uses Electricity and Magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view Death as the Opposite of Life is to be ignorant of the fact that Death cannot exist as a Substantive Thing. Death is Not the Opposite of Life : just the Absence of it. Now tell me, Professor, do you Teach your Students that they Evolved from a Monkey?
Professor :If you are referring to the Natural Evolutionary Process, yes, of course, I do.
Student :Have you ever observed Evolution with your own eyes, sir?
( The Professor shakes his head with a Smile, beginning to realize where the Argument is going)Student :Since no one has ever observed the Process of Evolution at work and cannot even prove that this Process is an On - Going Endeavor, are you not Teaching your Opinion, sir? Are you not a Scientist but a Preacher?
(The Class is in Uproar)
Student :Is there anyone in the Class who has ever Seen the Professor's Brain ?
( The Class breaks out into Laughter )
Student :Is there anyone here who has ever Heard the Professor's Brain, Felt it, Touched or Smelt it ? . . . No one appears to have done so. So, according to the Established Rules of Empirical, Stable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says that you have No Brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then Trust your Lectures, sir?
( The Room is Silent. The Professor stares at the Student, his face unfathomable)
Professor :I guess you'll have to take them on Faith, son.
Student :That is it sir . . . the Link between Man & GOD is FAITH. That is all that Keeps Things Moving & Alive.
NB:I believe you have enjoyed the Conversation . . . and if so . . .you'll probably want your Friends Colleagues to enjoy the same . . . won't you ? . . .Forward them to Increase their Knowledge . . . or FAITH
An Atheist Professor of Philosophy speaks to his Class on the Problem Science has with GOD, The ALMIGHTY. He asks one of his New Christian Students to stand and . . .
Professor :You are a Christian, aren't you, son?
Student :Yes, sir.
Professor :So you Believe in GOD ?
Student :Absolutely, sir.
Professor :Is GOD Good?
Student :Sure.
Professor :Is GOD ALL - POWERFUL ?
Student :Yes.
Professor :My Brother died of Cancer even though he Prayed to GOD to Heal him. Most of us would attempt to Help Others who are ill. But GOD didn't. How is this GOD Good then? Hmm?( Student is silent )
Professor : You can't answer, can you? Let's start again, Young Fella. Is GOD Good?
Student : Yes..
Professor : Is Satan good?
Student :No.
Professor :Where does Satan come from ?
Student :From . . . GOD . . .
Professor :That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this World?
Student :Yes.
Professor : Evil is everywhere, isn't it? And GOD did make Everything.. Correct?
Student :Yes.
Professor :So who created evil ?( Student does not answer )
Professor :Is there Sickness ? Immorality ? Hatred ? Ugliness ? All these terrible things exist in the World, don't they?
Student :Yes, sir.
Professor :So, who Created them ?
( Student has no answer )
Professor : Science says you have 5 Senses you use to Identify and Observe the World around you. Tell me, son . . . Have you ever Seen GOD ?
Student :No, sir.
Professor :Tell us if you have ever Heard your GOD ?
Student :No , sir.
Professor :Have you ever Felt your GOD , Tasted your GOD , Smelt your GOD ? Have you ever had any Sensory Perception of GOD for that matter ?
Student :No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.
Professor :Yet you still Believe in HIM ?
Student : Yes.
Professor :According to Empirical, Testable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says your GOD doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son ?
Student :Nothing. I only have my Faith .
Professor :Yes. Faith . And that is the Problem Science has.
Student :Professor, is there such a thing as Heat?
Professor :Yes.
Student :And is there such a thing as Cold?
Professor :Yes.
Student :No sir. There isn't.
(The Lecture Theatre becomes very quiet with this turn of events )
Student :Sir, you can have Lots of Heat, even More Heat, Superheat, Mega Heat, White Heat, a Little Heat or No Heat. But we don't have anything called Cold. We can hit 458 Degrees below Zero which is No Heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as Cold. Cold is only a Word we use to describe the Absence of Heat. We cannot Measure Cold. Heat is Energy. Cold is Not the Opposite of Heat, sir, just the Absence of it.
( There is Pin - Drop Silence in the Lecture Theatre )
Student : What about Darkness, Professor ? Is there such a thing as Darkness ?Professor :Yes. What is Night if there isn't Darkness ?
Student :You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is the Absence of Something. You can have Low Light, Normal Light , Bright Light, Flashing Light . . . But if you have No Light Constantly, you have Nothing and it's called Darkness, isn't it? In reality, Darkness isn't. If it is, were you would be able to make Darkness Darker, wouldn't you?
Professor :So what is the point you are making, Young Man?
Student :Sir, my point is your Philosophical Premise is Flawed.
Professor :Flawed? Can you explain how?
Student :Sir, you are working on the Premise of Duality. You argue there is Life and then there is Death, a Good GOD and a Bad GOD. You are viewing the Concept of GOD as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, Science can't even explain a Thought. It uses Electricity and Magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view Death as the Opposite of Life is to be ignorant of the fact that Death cannot exist as a Substantive Thing. Death is Not the Opposite of Life : just the Absence of it. Now tell me, Professor, do you Teach your Students that they Evolved from a Monkey?
Professor :If you are referring to the Natural Evolutionary Process, yes, of course, I do.
Student :Have you ever observed Evolution with your own eyes, sir?
( The Professor shakes his head with a Smile, beginning to realize where the Argument is going)Student :Since no one has ever observed the Process of Evolution at work and cannot even prove that this Process is an On - Going Endeavor, are you not Teaching your Opinion, sir? Are you not a Scientist but a Preacher?
(The Class is in Uproar)
Student :Is there anyone in the Class who has ever Seen the Professor's Brain ?
( The Class breaks out into Laughter )
Student :Is there anyone here who has ever Heard the Professor's Brain, Felt it, Touched or Smelt it ? . . . No one appears to have done so. So, according to the Established Rules of Empirical, Stable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says that you have No Brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then Trust your Lectures, sir?
( The Room is Silent. The Professor stares at the Student, his face unfathomable)
Professor :I guess you'll have to take them on Faith, son.
Student :That is it sir . . . the Link between Man & GOD is FAITH. That is all that Keeps Things Moving & Alive.
NB:I believe you have enjoyed the Conversation . . . and if so . . .you'll probably want your Friends Colleagues to enjoy the same . . . won't you ? . . .Forward them to Increase their Knowledge . . . or FAITH
Something to think about
Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it.
Don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually.
Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's
like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster.
Want to live longer? Take a nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat?
Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables.
So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism
of delivering vegetables to your system.
Need grain? Eat chicken.
Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable).
And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended
daily allowance of vegetable products.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine,
that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even
more of the goodness that way.
Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one.
If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a
regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good !!
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! ...
Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil.
In fact, they're permeated in it.
How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft
around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger.
You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!!
It's the best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
And remember: 'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO, What a Ride............................................................
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it.
Don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually.
Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's
like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster.
Want to live longer? Take a nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat?
Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables.
So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism
of delivering vegetables to your system.
Need grain? Eat chicken.
Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable).
And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended
daily allowance of vegetable products.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine,
that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even
more of the goodness that way.
Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one.
If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a
regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good !!
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! ...
Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil.
In fact, they're permeated in it.
How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft
around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger.
You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!!
It's the best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
And remember: 'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO, What a Ride............................................................
Card Keys
I collect hotel card keys. It has become some sort of a hobby and it started when I received the following advise from a friend via email. It is something to think about.
Ever wonder what is on your magnetic key card?
Answer:
a. Customer's name
b. Customer's partial home address
c. Hotel room number
d. Check-in date and out dates
e. Customer's credit card number and expiration date!
When you turn them in to the front desk your personal information is here for anybody to access by simply scanning the card in the hotel scanner. Somebody can take a hand full of cards home and using a scanning device, access the information onto a laptop computer and go shopping at your expenses. Simply put, hotels do not erase the information on these cards until it is reissued the card to the next hotel guest. At that time, the new guest's information is electronically 'overwritten' on the card and the previous guest's information is erased in the overwriting process. But until the card is rewritten for the next guest, it usually is kept in a drawer at the front desk with YOUR INFORMATION ON IT!
The bottom line is: Keep the cards, take them home with you, or destroy them.
Ever wonder what is on your magnetic key card?
Answer:
a. Customer's name
b. Customer's partial home address
c. Hotel room number
d. Check-in date and out dates
e. Customer's credit card number and expiration date!
When you turn them in to the front desk your personal information is here for anybody to access by simply scanning the card in the hotel scanner. Somebody can take a hand full of cards home and using a scanning device, access the information onto a laptop computer and go shopping at your expenses. Simply put, hotels do not erase the information on these cards until it is reissued the card to the next hotel guest. At that time, the new guest's information is electronically 'overwritten' on the card and the previous guest's information is erased in the overwriting process. But until the card is rewritten for the next guest, it usually is kept in a drawer at the front desk with YOUR INFORMATION ON IT!
The bottom line is: Keep the cards, take them home with you, or destroy them.
Just be thankful....
Thanks so much Renuga. I like the piece you sent to me yesterday and so I am sharing it here with friends.....
I AM THANKFUL
>FOR THE WIFE WHO SAYS IT'S EGGS N BACON TONIGHT,
BECAUSE SHE IS HOME WITH ME, AND NOT OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE.
>FOR THE HUSBAND WHO IS ON THE SOFA
BEING A COUCH POTATO,
BECAUSE HE IS HOME WITH ME AND NOT OUT AT THE BARS.
>FOR THE TEENAGER WHO IS COMPLAINING ABOUT DOING DISHES
BECAUSE IT MEANS SHE IS AT HOME,
NOT ON THE STREETS.
>FOR THE TAXES I PAY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM EMPLOYED .
>FOR THE MESS TO CLEAN AFTER A PARTY;
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN SURROUNDED BY FRIENDS.
>FOR THE CLOTHES THAT FIT A LITTLE TOO SNUG;
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE ENOUGH TO EAT.
>FOR MY SHADOW THAT WATCHES ME WORK;
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM OUT IN THE SUNSHINE
>FOR A LAWN THAT NEEDS MOWING, WINDOWS THAT NEED CLEANING, AND GUTTERS THAT NEED FIXING;
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE A HOME.
>FOR ALL THE COMPLAINING I HEAR ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT;
BECAUSE IT MEANS WE HAVE FREEDOM OF SPEECH.
> FOR THE PARKING SPOT I FIND AT THE FAR END OF THE PARKING LOT;
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM CAPABLE OF WALKING AND I HAVE BEEN BLESSED WITH TRANSPORTATION .
>FOR MY HUGE HEATING BILL;
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM WARM.
>FOR THE LADY BEHIND ME IN CHURCH WHO SINGS OFF KEY;
BECAUSE IT MEANS I CAN HEAR.
>FOR THE PILE OF LAUNDRY AND IRONING;
BECAUSE IT MEANSI HAVE CLOTHES TO WEAR.
>FOR WEARINESS AND ACHING MUSCLES AT THE END OF THE DAY;
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN CAPABLE OF WORKING HARD.
>FOR THE ALARM THAT GOES OFF IN THE EARLY MORNING HOURS;
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM ALIVE.
>AND FINALLY, FOR TOO MUCH E-MAIL;
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE FRIENDS WHO ARE THINKING OF ME.
SEND THIS TO SOMEONE YOU CARE ABOUT.
Live well, Laugh often, & Love with all of your heart!
I AM THANKFUL
>FOR THE WIFE WHO SAYS IT'S EGGS N BACON TONIGHT,
BECAUSE SHE IS HOME WITH ME, AND NOT OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE.
>FOR THE HUSBAND WHO IS ON THE SOFA
BEING A COUCH POTATO,
BECAUSE HE IS HOME WITH ME AND NOT OUT AT THE BARS.
>FOR THE TEENAGER WHO IS COMPLAINING ABOUT DOING DISHES
BECAUSE IT MEANS SHE IS AT HOME,
NOT ON THE STREETS.
>FOR THE TAXES I PAY
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM EMPLOYED .
>FOR THE MESS TO CLEAN AFTER A PARTY;
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN SURROUNDED BY FRIENDS.
>FOR THE CLOTHES THAT FIT A LITTLE TOO SNUG;
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE ENOUGH TO EAT.
>FOR MY SHADOW THAT WATCHES ME WORK;
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM OUT IN THE SUNSHINE
>FOR A LAWN THAT NEEDS MOWING, WINDOWS THAT NEED CLEANING, AND GUTTERS THAT NEED FIXING;
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE A HOME.
>FOR ALL THE COMPLAINING I HEAR ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT;
BECAUSE IT MEANS WE HAVE FREEDOM OF SPEECH.
> FOR THE PARKING SPOT I FIND AT THE FAR END OF THE PARKING LOT;
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM CAPABLE OF WALKING AND I HAVE BEEN BLESSED WITH TRANSPORTATION .
>FOR MY HUGE HEATING BILL;
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM WARM.
>FOR THE LADY BEHIND ME IN CHURCH WHO SINGS OFF KEY;
BECAUSE IT MEANS I CAN HEAR.
>FOR THE PILE OF LAUNDRY AND IRONING;
BECAUSE IT MEANSI HAVE CLOTHES TO WEAR.
>FOR WEARINESS AND ACHING MUSCLES AT THE END OF THE DAY;
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN CAPABLE OF WORKING HARD.
>FOR THE ALARM THAT GOES OFF IN THE EARLY MORNING HOURS;
BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM ALIVE.
>AND FINALLY, FOR TOO MUCH E-MAIL;
BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE FRIENDS WHO ARE THINKING OF ME.
SEND THIS TO SOMEONE YOU CARE ABOUT.
Live well, Laugh often, & Love with all of your heart!
Sunday, November 16, 2008
It always seems to end up with a fight
My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels the other day........
She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust..'
And then the fight started…
======
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds.'
I bought her a weighing scale.
And then the fight started…
======
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive... so, I took her to a gas station...
And then the fight started....
=======
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and comeback later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the social Security office.
She said, 'you should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.'
And then the fight started...
=======
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?''
"Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.
'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
And then the fight started...
======
I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get so-o-o-o stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it he was a DWARF!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!' So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then, which one are you?' And then the fight started....
She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust..'
And then the fight started…
======
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds.'
I bought her a weighing scale.
And then the fight started…
======
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive... so, I took her to a gas station...
And then the fight started....
=======
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and comeback later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the social Security office.
She said, 'you should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.'
And then the fight started...
=======
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?''
"Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.
'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
And then the fight started...
======
I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get so-o-o-o stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it he was a DWARF!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!' So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then, which one are you?' And then the fight started....
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