Stress Relievers - part 2

A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?" "Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE" Father to son after exam: " Let me see your report card." Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents." " How was your blind date ? " a college student asked her roommate." " Terrible ! " the roommate answered. " He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce." "Wow! That's a very expensive car. What 's so bad about that ? " "He was the original owner." A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word "beans". "My father grows beans," said one student. "My father cooks beans," said another. Then little Johnny spoke up: "We are all human beans." Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?" Millionaire: " I owe everything to my wife." Interviewer: " Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you married her Millionaire: "A Billionaire" Girl to her boyfriend: "One kiss and I'll be yours forever." The guy replies: "Thanks for the warning." A husband was asked: "Do you talk to your wife after sex?" He replied: "Depends, if I can find a phone." Man to wife on wedding night: "Are you sure I'm the first man you are sleeping with ? " Wife replied: " Of course honey, I stayed awake with all the others !" "Why did they stop printing PAMELA ANDERSON stamps in the U.S.?" Answer: "Because people started licking the wrong side!"