Answers To Quiz:
1. The one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends: Boxing.
2. North American landmark constantly moving backward: Niagara Falls . The rim is worn down about two and a half feet each year because of the millions of gallons of water that rush over it every minute.
3. Only two vegetables that can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons: Asparagus and rhubarb.
4. The fruit with its seeds on the outside: Strawberry.
5. How did the pear get inside the brandy bottle? It grew inside the bottle. The bottles are placed over pear buds when they are small, and are wired in place on the tree. The bottle is left in place for the entire growing season. When the pears are ripe, they are snipped off at the stems.
6. Three English words beginning with dw: Dwarf, dwell and dwindle...
7. Fourteen punctuation marks in English grammar: Period, comma, colon, semicolon, dash, hyphen, apostrophe, question mark, exclamation point, quotation mark, brackets, parenthesis, braces, and ellipses.
8. The only vegetable or fruit never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form but fresh: Lettuce.
9. Six or more things you can wear on your feet beginning with 'S': Shoes, socks, sandals, sneakers, slippers, skis, skates, snowshoes, stockings, stilts.
PLEASE DO YOUR PART… Today is National Mental Health Day. You can do your part by remembering to send this to at least one mentally-challenged person.
Well, my job's done!
Saturday, December 14, 2013
General knowledge - the questions
This is a quiz for people who know everything! I found out in a hurry that I didn't. These are not trick questions. They are straight questions with straight answers..
1. Name the one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends.
2. What famous North American landmark is constantly moving backward?
3. Of all vegetables, only two can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons. All other vegetables must be replanted every year. What are the only two perennial vegetables?
4. What fruit has its seeds on the outside?
5. In many liquor stores, you can buy pear brandy, with a real pear inside the bottle. The pear is whole and ripe, and the bottle is genuine; it hasn't been cut in any way. How did the pear get inside the bottle?
6. Only three words in standard English begin with the letters ' dw' and they are all common words. Name two of them.
7. There are 14 punctuation marks in English grammar. Can you name at least half of them?
8. Name the only vegetable or fruit that is never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form except fresh.
9. Name 6 or more things that you can wear on your feet beginning with the letter 'S.'
1. Name the one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends.
2. What famous North American landmark is constantly moving backward?
3. Of all vegetables, only two can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons. All other vegetables must be replanted every year. What are the only two perennial vegetables?
4. What fruit has its seeds on the outside?
5. In many liquor stores, you can buy pear brandy, with a real pear inside the bottle. The pear is whole and ripe, and the bottle is genuine; it hasn't been cut in any way. How did the pear get inside the bottle?
6. Only three words in standard English begin with the letters ' dw' and they are all common words. Name two of them.
7. There are 14 punctuation marks in English grammar. Can you name at least half of them?
8. Name the only vegetable or fruit that is never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form except fresh.
9. Name 6 or more things that you can wear on your feet beginning with the letter 'S.'
Experience any embarrassing moments recently?
Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back.......or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are the testimonials of a few people who did.
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn't say a word.....he knew better.
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was un-happy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who work at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls".
My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy
behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm
just
looking at your nuts". My sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget.
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night". The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me were screams of laughter.
Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three year old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course, I checked my seven month old daughter, and she was clean. Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in awhile, so I asked him if he needed to go. He said "No". I kept thinking, Oh Lord, that child has had an accident and I don't have any clothes with me." Then I said, "Danny, are you sure you didn't have an accident?" "No", he replied. I just knew that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny,did you have an accident?" This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!", while 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing! He calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better by thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had.
This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any...... atrue story.... We had a female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?" Not only did he have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, they were laughing so hard.
NOW, DIDN'T THAT FEEL GOOD? Please pass this on to someone you know who needs a laugh
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn't say a word.....he knew better.
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was un-happy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who work at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls".
My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy
behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm
just
looking at your nuts". My sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget.
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night". The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me were screams of laughter.
Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three year old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course, I checked my seven month old daughter, and she was clean. Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in awhile, so I asked him if he needed to go. He said "No". I kept thinking, Oh Lord, that child has had an accident and I don't have any clothes with me." Then I said, "Danny, are you sure you didn't have an accident?" "No", he replied. I just knew that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny,did you have an accident?" This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!", while 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing! He calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better by thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had.
This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any...... atrue story.... We had a female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?" Not only did he have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, they were laughing so hard.
NOW, DIDN'T THAT FEEL GOOD? Please pass this on to someone you know who needs a laugh
Friday, December 13, 2013
Another Secret of Success
When I woke up this morning lying in bed, I was asking myself - What are some of the secrets of success in life?
I found the answer right there, in my very room.
The fan said – be cool
The roof said – aim high
The window said – see the world
The clock said – every minute is precious
The mirror said - reflect before you act
The calendar said – be up to date
The door said – push hard for your goals
And not to forget, the carpet said ...kneel down and pray.
Carry a Heart that Never Hates.
Carry a Smile that Never Fades.
Carry a Touch that Never Hurts.
Live - laugh - love.
HAVE A PURPOSEFUL DAY!!!
I found the answer right there, in my very room.
The fan said – be cool
The roof said – aim high
The window said – see the world
The clock said – every minute is precious
The mirror said - reflect before you act
The calendar said – be up to date
The door said – push hard for your goals
And not to forget, the carpet said ...kneel down and pray.
Carry a Heart that Never Hates.
Carry a Smile that Never Fades.
Carry a Touch that Never Hurts.
Live - laugh - love.
HAVE A PURPOSEFUL DAY!!!
God will provide
A young woman brought her fiancé home to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother told her father to find out about the young man. The father invited the fiancé to his study for a talk.
"So what do you do for a living?" the father asked the young man.
"I am a biblical scholar," he replied.
"A Biblical scholar. Hmm........", the father said. "Admirable, but what will you do to provide a nice house for my daughter to live in?"
"I will study," the young man replied, "and God will provide for us."
"And how will you buy her a beautiful engagement ring, such as she deserves?" asked the father.
"I will concentrate on my studies," the young man replied, "God will provide for us."
"And children?" asked the father. "How will you support children?"
"Don't worry Sir, God will provide," replied the fiancé.
The conversation proceeded like this and each time the father questioned, the young idealist insisted that God would provide.
Later, the mother asked, "How did it go Honey?"
The father answered, "He has no job, no plans and he thinks I'm God!!"
"So what do you do for a living?" the father asked the young man.
"I am a biblical scholar," he replied.
"A Biblical scholar. Hmm........", the father said. "Admirable, but what will you do to provide a nice house for my daughter to live in?"
"I will study," the young man replied, "and God will provide for us."
"And how will you buy her a beautiful engagement ring, such as she deserves?" asked the father.
"I will concentrate on my studies," the young man replied, "God will provide for us."
"And children?" asked the father. "How will you support children?"
"Don't worry Sir, God will provide," replied the fiancé.
The conversation proceeded like this and each time the father questioned, the young idealist insisted that God would provide.
Later, the mother asked, "How did it go Honey?"
The father answered, "He has no job, no plans and he thinks I'm God!!"
different ways to apologise
Japan Tokyo
A man accidently tore a girl’s short miniskirt in Tokyo . Before the guy had a chance to apologize, the single lady took a 90 degree bow, then said: “I am sorry to give you trouble! The quality of the skirt is not all that good.” Then she took out a pin, put the skirt back together and left.
New York
Time Square, New York , a man accidently tore a girl’s miniskirt. Before the guy had a chance to react, the single lady pull out a name card, gave it to him and said: “This is my lawyer’s business card. He will contact you about this sexual harassment. It is better that you prepare yourself, then we will see you in court.”
Paris France
A French man accidently tore a girls’ miniskirt. Before the man opened his mouth, the young single lady said with a smile: “If you do not mind, a red rose can represent your apology.” The French man bought her a rose, then they went to a bar, and lastly, they went to a small hotel discussing what was in the miniskirt.
Thames England
In the Church Square by Thames, an English man accidently tore the mini skirt of a young single lady. Before the English man opened up his mouth, the young lady covered her torn spot, then said with a blush on her face: “Do you mind taking me home sir? I live very close by…” The English man took his jacket off, put on her shoulders, call a cab, then took her home safely.
China
Chong Qing, China: a man accidently cut open the miniskirt of a young lady. Before the man said anything, the young lady slapped the guy, then: “You, the sex maniac. Dare to take advantage of me, I will send you to the labor camp…”
Taiwan Shimending
Taiwan Shimending, a man accidently tore a girl’s short miniskirt. Before the guy started to speak, the girl smiled and said: “We have not come up with a price yet, and you are going to inspect the merchandise?”
Korea On the street of Yinchong, a man accidently tore a girl’s miniskirt. Before the man speaks, the girl gave him a round kick, then said: “Don’t you know that I have a second degree black belt in Tai Kwan Dao.”
Bangkok, Thailand,
A man accidentally tore the miniskirt of an 18 years old girl. Before the man start to apologize, the girl said with a Buddha hand gesture: “No worries honey, ……we are all men.”
Cheers!
A man accidently tore a girl’s short miniskirt in Tokyo . Before the guy had a chance to apologize, the single lady took a 90 degree bow, then said: “I am sorry to give you trouble! The quality of the skirt is not all that good.” Then she took out a pin, put the skirt back together and left.
New York
Time Square, New York , a man accidently tore a girl’s miniskirt. Before the guy had a chance to react, the single lady pull out a name card, gave it to him and said: “This is my lawyer’s business card. He will contact you about this sexual harassment. It is better that you prepare yourself, then we will see you in court.”
Paris France
A French man accidently tore a girls’ miniskirt. Before the man opened his mouth, the young single lady said with a smile: “If you do not mind, a red rose can represent your apology.” The French man bought her a rose, then they went to a bar, and lastly, they went to a small hotel discussing what was in the miniskirt.
Thames England
In the Church Square by Thames, an English man accidently tore the mini skirt of a young single lady. Before the English man opened up his mouth, the young lady covered her torn spot, then said with a blush on her face: “Do you mind taking me home sir? I live very close by…” The English man took his jacket off, put on her shoulders, call a cab, then took her home safely.
China
Chong Qing, China: a man accidently cut open the miniskirt of a young lady. Before the man said anything, the young lady slapped the guy, then: “You, the sex maniac. Dare to take advantage of me, I will send you to the labor camp…”
Taiwan Shimending
Taiwan Shimending, a man accidently tore a girl’s short miniskirt. Before the guy started to speak, the girl smiled and said: “We have not come up with a price yet, and you are going to inspect the merchandise?”
Korea On the street of Yinchong, a man accidently tore a girl’s miniskirt. Before the man speaks, the girl gave him a round kick, then said: “Don’t you know that I have a second degree black belt in Tai Kwan Dao.”
Bangkok, Thailand,
A man accidentally tore the miniskirt of an 18 years old girl. Before the man start to apologize, the girl said with a Buddha hand gesture: “No worries honey, ……we are all men.”
Cheers!
Tees and Balls
Tiger Woods drives his Mercedes into a petrol station in a remote part of the Irish countryside.
The pump attendant, obviously knows nothing about golf, greets him in a typical Irish manner completely unaware of who the golfing pro is.
"Top of the mornin' toyer, sir" says the attendant.
Tiger nods a quick "hello" and bends forward to pick up the nozzle. As he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground.
"What are those?, asks the attendant.
"They're called tees" replies Tiger.
"Well, what on the god's earth are dey for?" inquires the Irishman.
"They're for resting my balls on when I'm driving", says Tiger.
"Fookin Jaysus", says the Irishman, "Mercedes thinks of everything!".
The pump attendant, obviously knows nothing about golf, greets him in a typical Irish manner completely unaware of who the golfing pro is.
"Top of the mornin' toyer, sir" says the attendant.
Tiger nods a quick "hello" and bends forward to pick up the nozzle. As he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground.
"What are those?, asks the attendant.
"They're called tees" replies Tiger.
"Well, what on the god's earth are dey for?" inquires the Irishman.
"They're for resting my balls on when I'm driving", says Tiger.
"Fookin Jaysus", says the Irishman, "Mercedes thinks of everything!".
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)